2 days off from work.
feels like an eternal.
i'm back to feeling what i used to feel.
i want i want and i wants.
i want a nintendo ds. (pink or white please)
i want my printer to print perfectly. (i screwed that up)
i want to enjoy the summer. (been crazily procrastinating lately)

i like where we live. i like the location. i like the facilities but i hate my landlord (landlady) gosh she's not very nice.

i want to have that extra cash so i wont have to feel so bored.
i want to have that shopping mode again. kinda lost the excitement to shop.

i want new runners.
i want that reebok i saw at athletes world.

i want more friends.

i want my sister to stop putting her bf as her top priority and make him her world and do everything with him or do anything and mention him. if only if i could remember how she acted before she dated. she's different. i'm different. we come from the same family yet we're so different. why is that. why does that happen. i'm not jealous. i just don't like talking to someone that thinks about another person 24/7 and only gets happy and HAPPIER when she gets to talk about him. it's disgusting and irritating. i feel like im 13 again.

anyways... i'll get what i want. i want what i want. i want it because without it i feel like life's stupid.

the world does not revolve around me and i know that. crap. i want i want i want.

I found another part of Edmonton that I really, really like. I wish I can move there.
I'll upload pictures tomorrow after my walk there :)

Finally an area I like besides the mall.

Exams are done. Finally done.
Now I have that same feeling I had a few months ago. I have no idea what I'm doing here. I wanna go home.
Plans for the summer?
yet to plan.... need to find more jobs.

Reasons why I should go to Denver:
1. Good money
2. Good money = trip back to Malaysia
3. Good money = trip to UK
4. Meet new friends
5. Live in the states and get a BRAND new experience.

Reasons why I should stay in Edmonton:
1. Able to celebrate my 21st bday with Doris and Debbie and Christine and my other friends.
2. Co-workers at Lenscrafters loves me... and I love them too.
3. I love my job at Lenscrafters.. was always my dream job anyways. Why leave in the first place? I was nuts.
4. Able to attend Mary's wedding.
5. Able to attend the award gala.
6. Able to apartment hunt with Doris.
7. Able to keep the normal life I had since March 2007.
8. Able to discover my new loves in Edmonton.... I hope I'll get a life.
9. Easier to do things.
10. Able to hang out with my friends here.

Well, I guess there's more positive things in Edmonton.
Thus, I cancelled my air ticket.... will be staying in Edmonton for the Summer... I hope the snow disappears by tomorrow.. SO SICK OF THE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought it was officially spring.
Damn it.
Day 3... blizzard. DAMMMMMN~
Been snowing 3 since Saturday morning... sitting on my bed on a Monday night, looking out of my window... and ALL i see is freaking snow all over the city!

Please let winter be over!

I can't get any training done in this weather!

30 days til I turn 21 years old.
Some updates:
1. Chemistry's final is finally coming. I hope I do well, really wanna do well in this subject. I like the way my teacher teaches, and I'm happy with how I've been doing so far... been thinking bout doing something related to chemistry instead.

2. I'm turning 21 soon!!!!!!

3. I'll be leaving Edmonton for the whole summer. I'll be going to Denver, Colorado. Departing: 29th April, 2008... and I'll be back September 1,2008 if ALL goes well.

4. Boon Boon is getting married soon... man~~~~ jie foo and boon boon don't wanna wait for me anymore.. LOL. I hope their wedding is gonna be SUPER 'xin-fu'

5. ... umm... I'm turning 21? LOL

gotta have a party and gathering before I leave Edmonton, and I gotta get myself prepared for my Statistic's final as well... (hardly ever do I show up in class... hope this works for me).

Thought I should post the clean place Doris and I are living in now :)

Home sweet home.

my wisdom tooth #1
wisdom tooth #2
I finally got my last two wisdom tooth extracted today.
Went there at 3pm.. and I was out at 3.40pm.. indeed the fastest ever extraction I ever had... Last two extractions were a little complicated as they had to cut the bone and do more incisions in order to get the tooth out.
To my surprise... the whole process did not hurt at all.. the tough part was that I had to shift my jaw to each side that my dentist was working on. I got one stitch on each side... and the whole process cost me FREAKING 300dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg~ after the insurance (covered 400).. means to get the two teeth out costs about 700 dollars. I wanna be a dentist also.. can earn that much. LOL.

The only thing bugging me right now are the stiches cos I can feel it. I wanna take it out.. but it'll dissolve in 5-7 days. Chiu.. no swelling, no bruising, no pain... I could of went to work.

Anyways, gotta work on my assignment now!

some updates of what's going on....
1. I'm getting my wisdom tooth extracted tomorrow.. and that will be the end of my wisdom tooth! Gonna get a consultation about getting braces too :) wippeee!
2. I have no idea what direction I want to head to in life.. it's like I'm at a point where I totally lost my motivation and drive towards being something I wanted to a few months ago. No wonder my friends are always in doubt when I say I want to do a specific something or go a specific somewhere.
3. I'm freaking addicted to the internet! Especially Facebook... argh... there's nothing else that's essential in life for me.
4. Finals are coming.. and I'm hoping that my motivation and drive will come back FAST cos I really need that.

I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life.
And I'm turning 21 in a month and 10 days... omgggggg!!!!!

the house is superclean now.... but i'm lazy to post pics. so baahh..

So I decided to post what my house.. my nest looks like when I get in the midst of stress and laziness....

The kitchen....
everything is just there..... from THAT day... all there... uncleaned.. LOL
My work table... all sorts of stuff... not the typical place I would be studying.. usually eating while watching taiwan series...
The living room.. really gotta clean up this place.. neither me or Doris spends time in this area anymore.. my things are invading the area...
My flooor.. clothes clothes and clothes.
My bed... I bought my toothpaste... (4 boxes...1 in bathroom using now- mint flavour) on Saturday.. been sleeping with them til today.. muahahha..tissue box empty cos I've been sick... and crying... miss my uncle James.
My bed.. that's me sleeping.. trying not to touch anything else on the bed...
Conclusion: I need to clean my room.

I will. Just thought I should show mummy my 狗窝

I'm wondering how I can get myself into 100% focus and concentration.

This is frustrating.

I need to boost my marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Globalization.

Research. research. research.

My Life.

The Sad Clown.
How ironic.

Is that me?

What is life? What is it about? Why would things never come to a happy ending? Why does it have to end like this?

I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm lost in my own world.

Why do I have to understand things first? Why do I have to be thoughtful? Why does the whole thing come back to me?

Why.

I just want to live life like everyone else. No one will understand me. And I don't expect anyone to. Just don't put the blame on me. And let me be me. Because I never did and never will be able to.

My Life.

Its Easter Sunday.
I went to Church with Doris and Kevin today.
Then we went out for lunch.
I got a pair of adidas shoes too.. (after one whole month)

As I was just about to start getting my assignments done, I received bad news again.
It's only been 1 year 11 days that I've been in Canada.

Grandma passed away.
and now my beloved Uncle James passed away.
I miss him alot but I know that he will always be in my heart.

I pray that my dad is going to be strong enough to hold the family together.
I miss home.
I want to be home.
I want to see everybody.

I miss him.