is this a sign?

Is this a sign of giving up hope??

I realised my weakness.
I'm really competitive. especially if I do well in a subject.
and if I don't, I give up right away.

Am I doing this to myself? Why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

I have so much going on and I write myself a to-do list. I apply my motivational seminar's knowledge. I think and I try to motivate and excite myself to study. Yet nothing happens.

I don't want to give up because giving up means my dream will remain a dream.

Am I not determined enough? Am I screwing my life up? My life sucks. At this point, I just want to restart my life. I know it's too late and I should never look back but what can I do to straighten out this flockedup situation.

ps: I've attended every single class. and I'm super proud of that. I did super good on my Biology quiz and I think my Physics midterm went well. Either than that, my life is crashing. My favourite organic chem... i screwed it. SIGH. I feel so bad for not doing good. I knew I could of done better.

Donna bong needs to get off the computer.

pps: my charger adapter is coming apart. I need a new one or else I won't be able to use my laptop. maybe that's a sign.

ARGH.

anyways.

my promise to myself. If I GET MY ASS back to studying and do well this time. (I'm not dropping any of my courses)
I WANT TO GO PARASAILING and do all the water activities available in KK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK THAT SHIT!