i have a feeling that i'm losing the grip to life.
i lost the feeling i once had towards work and life.
i lost everything that used to be here.
i dont know what i want anymore.
i dont know. i dont know.
i cant mingle. i cant socialize. i cant do anything right. im socially awkward and im not proud of it.
this is nuts. this is not fun.
im turning 21 soon and there's nothing i want more than my life back.
i hate how my sister has an expectation on how i should behave.
i think i should give up my purpose to stay here.
do i really want to?

went to the award gala for "You're Welcome Edmonton Awards", I guess I achieved at LEAST something in life. I was a nominee out of so many. and this was a great experience. i also realised that there's a disadvantage to being allergic to alcohol. damn asian blood.
freaking caucasian guy needs to check himself out in the mirror and get someone to judge his talents before he bluffs. oh gowd! gross guy. wonder why he got nominated. bleh~

anyways... skydiving? need to get that done soon. life? need to find it back.